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Jeanne Dorr
An Orchard Filled With Children
Jeanne Dorr, is a member of the Board of Directors of Lithuanian Orphan Care, a branch of the Human Services Council of the Lithuanian American Community, Inc. She is also a social studies teacher in New Jersey.
The primary goal of Lithuanian Orphan Care is to keep families together. However, the world is not a perfect place and we do not always get what we want. Our alternative is to place children in a group home. This is a situation where children live in a house with a mother and a father. We feel having two parents add stability to the lives of the children.
I would like to take you to Ðv. Martyno Vaikø Sodyba (Saint Martin's Children's Orchard), which is located in the Anykðèiø area. The parents to the fourteen children who reside here are Elena and Aleksandras Ilgûnai. From the outside their house appears to be typical Lithuanian farmhouse with a lovely flower garden in the front and along the sides of the house. But the inside is quite another story – as the house comes alive with the activities of children whose ages range from sixteen to eighteen.
The oldest child is learning to be a roofer. Although he is of legal age to leave, this is his home and this is where he’s found every weekend. Nine of the children were preparing for their First Communion, and wedding gowns were spread all over the tables. Why wedding gowns? Because a local business, which rented wedding gowns, donated several out of date gowns to the family. The monumental task of taking them apart and altering them to fit her “daughters” fell to Elena, but she didn’t mind. Elena would perform this act of love after the day’s work was done, the house was silent, and everyone was asleep.
It is a house where the wash is never finished, and the oven is always in use, while the aroma of freshly baked bread permeates the house. There is no need for air fresheners or potpourri in this house; something is always cooking on the stove or baking in the oven.
The children were waiting for us in the yard and began to greet us before we were out of the car. Regina Ðvoba, who coordinates the Countryside Children’s Fund, is no stranger to the family. After we were warmly greeted by everyone and given a tour of the house, we were offered home made refreshments. The children went about their chores, and Elena graciously shared her many anecdotes with us.
There was the time Tomas was looking at his brother’s precious coin collection. Actually, the collection consisted of only three coins, none valuable, but when a child owns nothing else, this means the world to him. Apparently Tomas was testing the coin for durability with his teeth and swallowed it. The whole house was in an uproar until it could be retrieved. Unfortunately, it could only be located by Tomas having a full audience every time he went to the bathroom. But the mission was successful; the missing coin is now back in the collection, and Tomas once again has his privacy in the bathroom.
Then there is the youngest in the house, little Juratë. She was slightly bothered that she was the only one too young to go to school. All the children get ready to leave at the same time in the morning. You can imagine what a production this is. Being the one who usually got the most attention, this did not sit well with her.
One day as Elena was washing clothes, she realized she had not seen Juratë for some time. When located, Juratë was wielding the scissors and giving herself a haircut. To Elena’s dismay, most of Juratë’s beautiful hair was in a heap on the floor. But Juratë couldn’t wait to show her the cat’s haircut; the cat had even less hair than Juratë.
But life is not all laughter in this house. When the children arrive, they bring no belongings. All they have is their excessive emotional baggage. It takes very special people to care for them. Elena was an engineer and her husband studied farming; they do not have college degrees in psychology. But they do have enough love and patience to raise their children.
Elena told me about all her children, but space does not allow me to tell you all I heard. There was the brother and sister whose mother left them sitting on a bale of hay while she went to town to enjoy herself. The children sat there many hours, afraid to move, while they shivered and went hungry. It was November and very cold. The mother had a few problems in town and was put in jail, never telling the authorities she had left her children. It was only after a farmer noticed them that they were sent to the children’s home. The mother telephones them from time to time and blames all her problems on them. The brother and sister still tend to cling to each other. But they were very adamant about one thing – they did not want to return to their house. They wanted to stay with Aunt Elena.
Kristina’s father is an invalid and an alcoholic who was forced to live in a nursing home because he could no longer take care of himself. Her mother had a boyfriend but he’s in prison. Before he was imprisoned, Kristina could no longer endure the abuse of her mother’s boyfriend; so she ran away from home. She lived in the woods for two days and two nights. On the third day she returned to school where the principal, after hearing her story, drove her directly to the children’s home. The young girl’s mother telephoned her once in two years.
The older Juratë is terrified of her father. After her mother died of cancer, her father brought home a girlfriend. Both of them are alcoholics. In a fit of drunken rage Juratë’s father chained her outside in the snow.
Rasa’s mother was dead, and her father abandoned the family. Her older brother tried to raise her but he also had a problem with alcohol. He would lock her in the tiny bathroom for hours, and as an additional punishment for being “stuck” with his little sister, he would pull her hair until she screamed in pain.
Aistë came on her own. There was no food in the house, and her parents were both alcoholics who fought day and night.
These are but a few cases. The children arrive at St. Martyno’s with bad stomachs, kidney, heart and eye problems, bad teeth, and tuberculosis. Some have to be deloused; the only clothing they own has to be burned. They hide food at meals until Elena can persuade them they will never be hungry again. Elena admits there are nights when she doesn’t sleep: there are children that have to be held because of their awful nightmares, those who cough much of the night, and those who are afraid to let her out of their sight.
Everyone works both inside and outside. In the outdoors is a farm, which needs constant tending, as well as cows, pigs, chickens, and a horse. There is always work inside. The bedrooms hold three children in each room, and the parents urge them to let their own personalities emerge. A hotel that was ordering new beds donated the children's beds. The older children had posters on their walls; while three of the girls made a very unique curtain as a room divider. They found an old video, which was beyond repair; so they cut it into even strips. Now they have an instant new room divider. The building itself was a kindergarten, which had been abandoned. Elena and her husband bought it and remodeled it – doing almost all the work themselves.
The family is deeply religious and named the home after St. Martin because they were told that legend says that he was a friend of the poor.
Education is equally important because as all parents Elena and her husband want the children well prepared for when they enter the work force. Tomas won every award possible for academic achievement in his school. But for every award Tomas has won, there has been an uphill battle with some of the other children. One little girl came to Elena and should have been in third grade. She never saw or heard of the alphabet. Elena and the family had their work cut out for them.
This is a house that is filled with love. The children are well behaved and have beautiful manners but still enjoy a good time. For entertainment the family enjoys music and gives concerts throughout the local area. While I was there, the local principal stopped by for a visit and to chat with the children. Everyone is pulling for these children, and they are surrounded with love. Now the nightmares have to be wiped away.
The government offers some financial support, but it is never enough. Countryside Children’s Fund makes up the difference, and there is a big difference necessary to help a family like this stay together.
BRIDGES readers, I urge you to support Lithuanian Orphan Care. These are the children you are helping today to provide for a better Lithuania tomorrow. Each of the children in this house is fortunate to have a sponsor, but there are so many more on a waiting list. They are waiting for people like you to respond. Would you consider giving one of these children the gift of a better future? The cost to sponsor a child is $150 a year, but ANY donation is gratefully appreciated.
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Many of you are beginning to make vacation plans, but please remember that poverty takes no holiday. The children need you and they need you now! From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, BRIDGES readers, for all you have done and are doing for Lithuania’s children.
I would like to thank Elena and Aleksandras for their hospitality and sharing their children with me for an afternoon. My sincerest gratitude goes to the sponsors of these children. Without you, there would be no children’s home.
I would like share this quote with you. “The test of a morality of a society is what it does for its children.” (Dietrick Bonhoeffer) We are all responsible for Lithuania’s children.
Please send your tax-exempt checks to:
Lithuanian Orphan Care
2711 W. 71st St.
Chicago, IL. 60629