Jeanne Dorr

...To Find Goodness in People’s Hearts

Jeanne Dorr, is a member of the Board of Directors of Lithuanian Orphan Care, a branch of the Human Services Council of the Lithuanian American Community, Inc. She is also a Social Studies teacher in New Jersey.

Jeanne is flanked by Jurgita on the left and Jurgita’s grandmother on the right during her visit. Photo: Jeanne Dorr

Did you ever meet someone who you couldn’t get out of your mind? Over a period of years I have met countless children and families through Lithuanian Orphan Care, but Jurgita and her grandmother wouldn’t leave my mind.

I first met them in 1994 when I traveled with Countryside Children’s Fund to Pakruojis. About twenty families were assembled from the town and surrounding villages. They were selected because of their urgent need for assistance. I was just starting to volunteer with Lithuanian Orphan Care, and to be honest I was quite nervous and didn’t know what to expect.

As my eyes scanned the assembled group I noticed an elderly woman and a teenage girl, the woman often whispering to the girl. At the end of the session we always have questions and comments from the audience. The elderly woman stood up and said she would like say something to the American lady. I thought she was probably going to tell me to mind my own business and go home. But instead she stood up and congratulated me. I told her I was flattered, but that I was also puzzled. Apparently I was being congratulated because my feet were dirty! I looked, and sure enough they were filthy.

She said she knew I was one of “them” because I wasn’t afraid to walk through the Lithuanian fields and the dirt roads. She never met an American, and all she knew was what she heard or saw in the paper. She saw “important” people from all over the world, all dressed up coming to Lithuania’s cities and being photographed handing checks to other “important” people. The grandmother said she never saw these people in the villages, and as far as she knew the villages never saw any benefits from the checks. She was very relieved when I told her that Lithuanian Orphan Care works directly with the people.

We continued with the program, and then the mothers and grandmothers filled out papers so that the children could qualify for Lithuanian Orphan Care sponsors. We moved outside where each family was given a large bag of clothing according to the ages of the children in the family.

It was at this time that Jurgita’s grandmother asked if she could speak to me privately. She wanted to apologize for wasting my time; she felt she made a grave mistake by filling out the forms for a sponsor. I asked her if she was in financial need, and at this point she started to cry. She was very much in need, but didn’t I understand about Jurgita? She was fifteen years old with the mind of a five-year-old. Who would ever want to support such a child?

Jurgita began to tug at my sweater while hopping from one foot to the other. She asked me if I had a piece of candy for her. Luckily, I did have some hard candy and that seemed to keep her happy, but I couldn’t help noticing how contented a piece of candy made her. She was absolutely beaming because this was a luxury her grandmother could not afford. Her grandmother and I continued our conversation as the tears were streaming down her face. I told her never to underestimate the goodness of the American people. I was determined Jurgita would have her sponsor, and that faith in humanity would be restored to this loving grandmother.

A few weeks after I returned to America, I attended the annual Lithuanian Music Hall picnic in Philadelphia. As I was talking to some friends who were visiting from Virginia, they told me they were interested in sponsoring a child. I very cautiously brought up the subject of Jurgita, telling them I would understand if this were not what they wanted. They looked at me rather blankly as if I had a serious problem. With the next breath, both husband and wife assured me they would love to have Jurgita as their Orphan Care child. I explained she could never communicate with them. In fact, I had the feeling that maybe the grandmother could not read or write too well. No problem. I was handed a check then and there. In that moment, my own faith was restored in people. I wished that I could tell Jurgita’s grandmother that the very first people I approached were delighted to help her raise her beloved granddaughter.

I lost touch with Jurgita, but she was never really out of mind. The sponsors told me that each Christmas they received a card, which Jurgita’s grandmother sent to Orphan Care. The card was forwarded to the sponsors with words of gratitude from Jurgita and her grandmother.

One day, Jurgita’s sponsors telephoned me. They were told that Jurgita reached eighteen and she would be dropped from the Orphan Care program. Was there any way they could continue to sponsor her? Of course, we were delighted with their offer, in spite of the fact that they were already sponsoring a second child.

The following year when they learned I was returning to Lithuania, they asked me if I would take a “little something extra” as a gift to Jurgita’s grandmother. They knew the elderly were among the hardest group struggling to survive economically in Lithuania. Things work out strangely, because I had it in the back of my mind to visit Jurgita on this trip. The problem is that our children are scattered all over Lithuania and this was quite far. Now, I had no excuse -- I had a reason to visit.

I telephoned the editor of Valstiečių laikraštis (newspaper). This is the paper, which sponsors Countryside Children’s Fund. I explained the situation and asked him if he could lend me a driver and a car. No problem, he needed a break from his desk and he would drive me. Jonas and Regina Svoba both insist on staying personally involved with each family and the fund sponsors. The families are not file numbers; they are real people. We set a time, and Jonas was there bright and early. As I write in all my articles, it seems that Orphan Care people are the only ones in the entire country who insist on starting the day when the roosters rise.

It was quite a long ride to Pakruojis, and we made several stops along the way to drop off much needed clothing to several families as well as to a small school. The roads changed from paved to gravel and finally to dirt. Dust and dirt were flying all over making visibility quite difficult. At one point we had to pull off the road and wipe the car windows. As we hit each bump, I could feel the fillings in my teeth rattling.

We almost reached our destination when we encountered a “traffic jam” involving two cars and a couple of horse-drawn wagons. Two teenagers had the misfortune of losing two pigs. Everyone got out to search, and when the pigs were finally located, all involved gave their opinions on how to get the pigs back into the wagon. I didn’t offer any words of wisdom, since I didn’t consider myself an expert on the subject. In the end, we had two happy teenagers and two very unhappy pigs. The journey came to an end not a moment too soon because my nerves were reaching their breaking point.

Because many villages are very difficult to find, Jonas telephoned the local social worker before we left on our trip for directions to Jurgita’s house. We found Jurgita hanging clothes on the line. When she heard the car pull up, she became very excited and ran to meet us. She was wearing her “Sunday” green plaid dress, which had been a gift several years earlier from a charity shipment received by Countryside Children.

Jurgita could barely contain herself as she ran to the car and threw her arms around both of us. As she hugged me, she kept saying, “Teta, teta, (Aunt, aunt,) I’m so glad you came to see us.” Jurgita and her grandmother receive very few guests. By now her grandmother came running out of the house with the same warm greeting. Her grandmother aged since the last time I had seen her but she was still a beautiful woman. Her long gray hair was beautifully braided and pinned to the back of her head.

I made a quick assessment of my feet. Good grief, they were dirty again from visiting the other families. Dust and dirt covered the yards where we stopped to deliver packages to needy families along the way. But this time she didn’t seem to notice.

The grandmother hoped we weren’t angry. She knew the trip was supposed to be a surprise, but the social worker came by to let her know company was coming. I told her that I certainly would want to know if guests were coming to my house. I would definitely need time to blow the dust from under the chairs. She seemed to relax and started to laugh. As far as she knew, this was an ordinary visit to find out if there was anything we could do for her.

She took us inside the one-and-a-half room house. Everything was well worn but spotless. The main room was a combination kitchen and sitting room. The linoleum was so worn and torn that the pattern was barely visible. A small room off the kitchen was the bedroom. A big black stove, the kind I remember from my grandmother’s house, dominated the room. There was a small table radio, which was quite old, but there was no television. Like the piece of candy which I gave Jurgita so long ago, the television would have been a luxury, which the grandmother could ill afford. The house had no central heat or indoor plumbing. A small table was set with homemade cheese, homemade black bread, bacon from their own pig, berries, and juice which they made themselves.

We sat and talked while Jurgita sat beaming at us; she was absolutely overjoyed. As I gave her a small bag of candy, I noticed how red, chapped, and work worn were the hands of this nineteen year old. I asked Jurgita’s grandmother if her son, Jurgita’s father, ever came to visit her. She told me he came when he was not busy: although the social worker had told me earlier that he rarely visits his mother, and that he wants nothing to do with his daughter. I knew Jurgita’s mother was dead

I gave Jurgita’s grandmother the envelope, and even before she opened it she started to cry. How could two strangers so far away care so much about Jurgita and her? When she opened the envelope she held the gift to her heart as tears streamed down her face. She told me she had never seen so much money at one time. Jurgita looked on in awe, asked if she could hold the hundred-dollar bill, and then asked me if I was sure it was real money. Her grandmother warned her several times that she must tell no one of this precious gift. This must be a secret because someone may try to take it from them. Jurgita nodded and promised she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Jurgita tried to write her name on a piece of paper so that I could give it to her sponsors, but she just couldn’t manage. It was too difficult for her. Jurgita’s grandmother told me of her fears for her granddaughter after she died. She was now in her mid-seventies, and we knew this was one story that would not have a happy ending. Jurgita would be placed in an institution: there were no other options.

We took a walk outside and saw where they raised their vegetables. There was a pig, a cow, and chickens wandering around the yard. From the outside we could see the house was badly in need of repairs. The stack of wood for the coming winter was growing higher as grandmother and granddaughter chopped tree limbs every day. The work was endless but so was the love in this house.

I would like to thank Jurgita’s sponsors for being such caring people.

During the approaching seasons of giving, I urge you to open your hearts to families such as this one. The primary goal of Lithuanian Orphan Care is to keep families together. The cost to sponsor a child is $150 for a year, but ANY donation is greatly appreciated.

There are so many ways you can help. There is the couple in Pennsylvania, who each year hosts a Christmas party and asks their guests to bring a check for Lithuanian Orphan Care. There are people who ask that their families and friends give to Orphan Care in their name instead of buying them birthday gifts.

There was a couple who was being married for a second time. Each had a house, and they felt they could not possibly use one more gift. So they asked their guests to contribute to Orphan Care. Two gentlemen, one from Washington and one from Colorado, sent checks and heartwarming letters explaining that their late wives both loved children and this was their way of remembering their wives. There are many people who donate to Lithuanian Orphan Care when they lose their loved ones. It is a beautiful way to keep someone’s sprit alive by giving the gift of hope to a child in Lithuania.

We are very grateful to all our churches, clubs, and organizations who support our children. I am especially thankful to you, the BRIDGES readers, who have to date donated almost $150,000 to help Lithuania’s forgotten children. God bless each and every one of you. It is you, through your generosity, who has helped Orphan Care grow from 60 children to approximately 900 in just five short years. And it is with your continued generosity that we will continue to help each and every child who needs us. Please, let us never have to turn away a child, a mother, or a grandmother because there is no one to help.

I would like to close with a quote from Mother Theresa. "Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person."

Please send your tax-exempt checks to:
Lithuanian Orphan Care
2711 W. 71st St.
Chicago, IL 60629