Special Little Friends in Alytus

In Alytus, Lithuania, a special
needs home provides all the
components for children
who are truly unique.

Jeanne Dorr is a member of the Board of Directors of Lithuanian Orphan Care, a branch of the Human Services Council of the Lithuanian American Community, Inc. She is also a Social Studies teacher in New Jersey.

A Child Leads the Way

I was fortunate to meet one of our foster children and his family from Alytus. It was especially exciting because the childÒ³ sponsor, Victor Stepalovitch, a Philadelphia resident, was there. Actually he was the one who arranged the visit for me.

I was introduced to little Donatas and his foster parents, Ramute and Kazimieras. The couple had one son who was in his twenties and living on his own. They had done a good job raising him and now it was time for them to sit back, relax, and enjoy life. But there was one small problem; a very small problem, and his name was Donatas. The thought of him spending his young years in the home and later in an orphanage haunted Ramute day and night. These thoughts gave her no peace.

Ramute worked in the Alytus Home for Children with Special Needs. As most people who see horrifying cases every day, she had to learn to separate her job from her personal life.

Donatas was brought to the hospital after he was abandoned by his mother. He had been left alone in his crib for almost a week by his mother. When he entered the hospital, he was in a very weakened condition. Later it was discovered that he could no longer use his legs; he was unable to even stand. Ramute was one of the people who gave him massages and baths. Donatas was becoming more and more attached to her, and she was breaking her own rule of not becoming personally involved.

One night she asked if she could take Donatas home for the night. The next time she asked if she could take him home for the weekend. It became harder and harder to take him back to the hospital on Monday mornings.

A Decision of Love

Donatas is overjoyed with his balloon; a simple yet very special gift that made him happy. photo: Jeanne Dorr

As Donatas regained his strength and the use of his legs, he would have to be placed in an orphanage. Now Ramute and Kazimieras were faced with a very serious decision. Did they have the strength to start over by being parents to a young child? Never mind that he was as cute as a button and as smart as a whip. Never mind that he loved them as much as they loved him. Were they really ready to have a child in kindergarten when many of their friends were grandparents? How about the expense of another child? These were working class people trying to make ends meet. After much soul searching they decided they loved this little boy too much to put him in an orphanage.

They gave Donatas the gift of a family and his sponsor is helping to give him the gift of hope for the future.

When I met him, he was a well-adjusted little chatter box. His mommy, daddy, and sponsor could not be more proud of him. I just have a feeling this little boy will have a bright future. But what would have happened to him if Ramute and Kazimieras put themselves first and allowed him to be sent to an orphanage?

Preconceived Ideas

So it was because of Donatas that I ended up visiting the Alytus ChildrenÒ³ Home.

Dr. Vitkauskas, Vincent Kreder, and Ramute call to the children at the Alytus Children's Home. photo: Jeanne Dorr

I really didnÒ´ want to go, and I was offering one feeble excuse after another. I knew the hospital primarily took care of children with cerebral palsy and DownÒ³ Syndrome. Once again ignorance and preconceived ideas almost got in my way. In my mind I pictured a dungeon-type hospital with neglected children tied into chairs or onto beds. I thought I would see a staff who would be uncaring and unfeeling. For these reasons I was making any excuse that came into my head.

But Ramute was persistent. She wanted me to see where she had found her precious Donatas, as well as the place where she worked. Finally she telephoned me in Kaunas and told me I had to come. There would be no more excuses.

Ramute arranged with the hospitalÒ³ director to give me a tour. He was a busy doctor and this was a personal favor. Just what I needed × probably some cranky, old administrator who was filled with his own self-importance.

I knew I couldnÒ´ face it alone. So, I contacted my New Jersey sidekick, Vincent Kreder. Vince had spent the last five years teaching in Lithuania, and was always open to visiting a new place.

So began our trip to Alytus. At this point my stomach was churning at what I thought I was going to see and experience.

As the bus pulled into the Alytus terminal, I could see Ramute smiling and waving. How could she be in such cheerful spirits knowing what we were about to experience?

Vincent and I enjoyed a lovely lunch with Ramute while she described some of the children we would see in the hospital. How could I ever tell this wonderful woman that I just didnÒ´ want to go? There wasnÒ´ a way, and we really couldnÒ´ drag this lunch out any longer. It was time to face reality.

A Pleasant Revelation

My first surprise of the day was that we were not entering a dungeon. It was a well-kept building with bright and cheery childrenÒ³ murals painted on the walls.

Our first stop was to visit the administrator. This was the second surprise of the day. We were introduced to Dr. Alvydas Vitkauskas. He wasnÒ´ old and he wasnÒ´ cranky. He was one of the most down-to-earth administrators I had ever encountered. Within a few minutes, I realized his first concerns were the special needs children in his care, as well as his staff. He explained that the children here were newborns to about three years of age. Some were abandoned when their parents realized that they just couldnÒ´ care for a child with so many problems. The situation in Lithuania is quite different than in America. If a family decides to raise a child with special needs, they are invited to bring the child to a Home for Special Needs Children for a day or for a weekend. This gives both parents and children a well-deserved rest; even if itÒ³ just for one night or a few days.

Dr. Vitkauskas expressed that there were too many needs and not enough money; a similar problem shared by administrators all over the world. He expressed a need for medicines that are not so far beyond the expiration dates that he was afraid to use them. This young doctor really impressed me when he said that he could not and would not give any medicine to the children in the home that he would not give to his own children.

I asked him how we could help him, and his only request was for videos showing the latest training and technology used in American hospitals or rehabilitation centers. He wanted his staff to see up-to-date methods which are being used to help special needs children in other parts of the world.

No problem, or so I thought. I was afraid he was going to ask for a new hospital wing, so this request would be a piece of cake. Well, in more than a year, I was able to send him only one tape. I never thought about copyrights, lawsuits, etc. It was like banging my head against the wall. It seems that most organizations I contacted did not have videos. Those that did were unwilling to share them. It was only through the efforts of a young man at the United Cerebral Palsy Center in Trenton, New Jersey, that I was finally able to obtain a video.

The Little Ones

It was now time for our tour. My stomach was calming down, but I still hadnÒ´ seen any of the children. As Dr. Vitkauskas and Ramute led us through the corridors, we were told to open any doors or enter any rooms. Nothing was off limits.

It was dinner time for the children. We entered a room with brightly painted murals on the wall. We saw dedicated and happy staff members feeding the children. The little ones were sitting around small tables. The staff were also sitting on the little chairs. They spoon-fed some, while they encouraged others to feed themselves. The task of lifting the spoon and getting the food either in the mouth or somewhere

near it was an occasion of great joy and brought words of praise. There were no angry words about the food that was spilled, or that had rolled off the bibs and onto the floor or clothing. It was obvious the children were enjoying their dinner as much as the staff enjoyed feeding them.

In another room, younger children with less developed motor skills were in large playpens; three or four were in each playpen. There were several women in the room but, no one was sitting idly. Each one either held a child in her arms or rocked one in a rocking chair.

When they placed a little girl wearing yellow overalls in my arms, my heart broke. I wanted to take each and every child home with me. The child snuggled against my face, and I only hoped she couldnÒ´ feel the salty tears coming down my cheeks. If I could have stopped the clock, I would have held that little angel forever. But, as always, it was time to move on.

Learning and Love

There was always learning taking place in each situation. Some of the little ones were learning to wash their hands; while others were learning to use a potty. They didnÒ´ seem to be the least bit embarrassed at having an audience. In fact, the potty room was one of the places in which we received the most smiles and waves from the children. They were receiving the most applause from the women as they delighted everyone with their accomplishments.

We visited another group of children who had finished their dinner and were engrossed with some toys. The children were enjoying themselves. Yet, the moment Dr. Vitkauskas approached the door, they all ran to greet him. He was overwhelmed with hugs and little hands trying to reach him. As busy as he was, he had time for each and every child.

The real superstar turned out to be Vincent. His brother is an assistant pastor of a rather large parish in New Jersey. The parishÒ³ youth group sent Vince balloons. He had enough foresight to bring some with him. Needless to say, Vince became the hero for this group of children. They squealed with delight as they reached for the brightly colored balloons. At that moment I wondered how many American children would be so excited about something as simple as a balloon. It takes so little to give joy to these children. I also wondered how long it took the women to calm their little charges after we left.

Dedication Abounds

We visited the newborns, as well as the children who were unable to sit or stand. Some did not open their eyes. They showed no reaction, and it was difficult to tell if they were sleeping or not. There were always women looking over the cribs or bassinets.

These were not people who were in this profession for the money. They were women who truly loved each and every one of these precious children. The children in this home are special and unique. It takes a great deal of patience and love to work with them. They donÒ´ understand the first, second, or even third time they are told something. In fact, some may never understand.

As a teacher, I know the frustration these women must be feeling. Yet, my job isnÒ´ nearly as difficult as theirs. It takes dedicated and loving people to work with the children in this home; people who treat each child as an individual and a gift from God. The smiles and hugs they receive from these children give them the will to continue working in this profession.

Love Left Behind

We saw so many children that day: from those unable to hold up their heads to those who were chasing balloons. It was not in the least depressing, and I went away with a new respect for the administrators and workers in the health care profession.

A time to rest after a day of play and accomplishments Photo: Jeanne Dorr

I saw the tremendous strides Lithuania is making with its special needs children in spite of a lack of money. I met an administrator who wanted nothing but the best for his children as well as his staff. I met a staff who cared deeply about these special children.

Most of all, I met the children who kept part of my heart with them in Alytus.

As for Donatas; he is a bright and happy little boy. What a difference that the love of a family can make in a little boyÒ³ life.

A Challenge for us all
What you can do!